Hedge all but the most unlikely of possibilities

Updated
Don't see how this could go tits up.
Trade active
Don't have lots of liquidity to play around with rn, but to at least 'put my money where my mouth is' a little bit, bought eToro's GOLDBTC at 0.0494: etoro.com/posts/0__entry__cf8e9bc1-7c51-4a8f-9f9d-5be4198f621b
Note
Wow that eToro CFD is retarded, isn't it...spread is 0.0506...0.0532, my $600 position costs $7 or over 1% to hold over the weekend. It's an instrument based on gold that's too expensive to hold over WEEKS? : D
Trade closed manually
Fuck eToro, never touching it again, sold 0.0499, going to take like a net loss of $15 because of fees. Including a $5 withdrawal fee. Which will be processed in 2 DAYS. The deposit took 30 seconds.
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